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Literature
The Daydream
Hi everyone, this the first time I've ever written anything from the heart.  Constructive feed back is appreciated!
We've been friends for as long a I can remember.  I mean, we've been friends for about 6 years or so at the time of this writing, yet it feels like a lifetime.  I know I'm not the only one that feels this way about someone they view as their best friend.  Someone they audibly call their sister, even though their true feelings conflict that title.  You want Her to be safe; you want what's best for Her; you want Her to be happy, no matter what that may mean for you.  Even if it meant sacrificing your friendship altogether.  "Why, then, does it feel like the darkest parts of hell are churning about in the pit of my stomach whenever I think about her with someone else?  Why does it feel like someone punched me in the gut, groin, and throat all at once whenever the thought of someone else sweeping her off her feet crosses my mind?  
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Literature
I Think I'm in Love With My Best Friend !!Help!!
Hey guys, I'm just here to vent.  Feel free to comment on this if you would like.
So today, I had my heart broken in a way I haven't felt in a long time.  First off you should know that I'm an aspiring Let's Player on YouTube (Big Slice).  I want that to be my career someday and this fact is very much a part of this entry.
I think I'm in love with my best friend.  She and another of my friends have been dating for 6 years and recently broke up.  I've always viewed, let's call her Julie for the sake of her identity, as a sister because she was dating my best friend, let's call him Jack.  They recently broke up and all of sudden I started having these feelings about Julie that I didn't really understand.  It's this rush of butterflies I haven't felt since I was abusing vyvanse, but it was occurring naturally.  I didn't know what I was feeling, but I couldn't get Julie out of my head.  I still can't.  I didn't want to pursue anything becau
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Hi everyone, this the first time I've ever written anything from the heart.  Constructive feed back is appreciated!

We've been friends for as long a I can remember.  I mean, we've been friends for about 6 years or so at the time of this writing, yet it feels like a lifetime.  I know I'm not the only one that feels this way about someone they view as their best friend.  Someone they audibly call their sister, even though their true feelings conflict that title.  You want Her to be safe; you want what's best for Her; you want Her to be happy, no matter what that may mean for you.  Even if it meant sacrificing your friendship altogether.  "Why, then, does it feel like the darkest parts of hell are churning about in the pit of my stomach whenever I think about her with someone else?  Why does it feel like someone punched me in the gut, groin, and throat all at once whenever the thought of someone else sweeping her off her feet crosses my mind?  Why is that even though she just broke up with a man I call my brother...I'm willing to breaking my one rule: Never date your best friend's ex...not even her.   Why is it that death seems to be the only cure for such a pain?"


You've been friends for 6 years, yet you feel you've known her for a hundred years; you've painted a picture of a life in you head filled with enough memories to paint the Grand Canyon.  You've imagined children with her, grandchildren, family vacations, picnics; you can see the living room doused in heavenly golden light from the shining sun outside, reflecting off of Her blond hair; the kids are playing with their toys and laughing...she is laughing too.  It's the most beautiful sound you've ever heard.  She is laughing with your kids, dancing about the room; the family dog is barking along, his tail wagging so hard it almost takes one of them out; the smell of the room is like fresh spring or fall, almost a mixture of the two; the birds are chirping and the peaceful roar of the lawnmowers cutting the lawns can be heard throughout the neighborhood...everything is bliss.  You hear the baby crying in the other room.  Your love begins to walk toward his room when you stop Her.  "I'll get him," you say.  She gives you the smile you fell in love with and you feel a warmth that cannot be compared to by anything else in this world.  It's a perfect life.

The room darkens; suddenly it's like a horrible storm has brewed outside; the laughter of your children have silenced; the baby's crying echoes into oblivion before audibly disappearing; the dog is no longer in the room; the smile is wiped completely from Her face.  You look around you and realize you're awakening from this Daydream, and reality is sinking in; you're anxiety is taking over.

"She will never love me," you tell yourself.  "If I profess my love to Her, She will reject me.  She will never speak to me again.  The man I call my brother will come to detest me.  The one I love...She will disappear from my life forever, which is far more unbearable than keeping these feelings to myself."

But you don't want that, do you?  You want the Daydream to become a reality.  You want to take Her in your arms.  You want to love her, hold her, protect her, care for her, to father her children... And you want her to be happy above all.  What must you do then?  Let her go?

"No, I couldn't.  I would rather die."

Confess your adoration for her?

"No, I couldn't.  She will reject me and I will never see her again."

Then what shall you do?

"...I don't know..."
Hey guys, I'm just here to vent.  Feel free to comment on this if you would like.

So today, I had my heart broken in a way I haven't felt in a long time.  First off you should know that I'm an aspiring Let's Player on YouTube (Big Slice).  I want that to be my career someday and this fact is very much a part of this entry.

I think I'm in love with my best friend.  She and another of my friends have been dating for 6 years and recently broke up.  I've always viewed, let's call her Julie for the sake of her identity, as a sister because she was dating my best friend, let's call him Jack.  They recently broke up and all of sudden I started having these feelings about Julie that I didn't really understand.  It's this rush of butterflies I haven't felt since I was abusing vyvanse, but it was occurring naturally.  I didn't know what I was feeling, but I couldn't get Julie out of my head.  I still can't.  I didn't want to pursue anything because she and Jack had just broken up.

The night before the time of this writing, she invited me and a couple other friends to go hang out at her house.  I, as an aspiring YouTuber, was running out of videos to edit and post and needed to record.  I told her that it would depend on what I get done and then I'd let her know.  I get some recording done and she texts me asking what the plans were looking like...

NOTE: Now, at this point, I decided that I was going to be there for her and let whatever happens happen and deal with the consequences then.  I decided I wanted to slowly win her over and see where it could lead.  I feel like I'm betraying Jack by doing that, but I feel like it's healthier for my own sake to do what my heart felt like it needed.  I want to be with Julie.

...Last night, I made the decision to continue recording and hang out with Julie today.  I got a good 6 hours worth of footage recorded which I'm proud of doing...but it came with a cost greater than I could've imagined.  Last night, she went to meet up with another friend and her group.  That's where Julie met Todd (again, a fake name in this case for the person's identity).  She is head over heels for this guy.  And he's a good guy it seems but he's not...me.  I want her to be happy which is why it hurts so much.  Not only is Todd a seemingly good guy, but she met him last night.  Why?  Because I chose to record instead of hang out with her.  She never would've met Todd if I halted recording and put videos up a day late...she wouldn't have slipped completely through my fingers...and it hurts.

I'm asking for advice.  How should I deal with this?  I told Julie after she and Jack broke up that I'd always be just a text or a phone call away.  Should I just continue hiding in the friendzone and hope (selfishly) that she and Todd don't end up together?  I don't know how to deal with this situation.  Anyone who has been through something like this, please help.  It's killing me.
Hey guys, I'm just here to vent.  Feel free to comment on this if you would like.

So today, I had my heart broken in a way I haven't felt in a long time.  First off you should know that I'm an aspiring Let's Player on YouTube (Big Slice).  I want that to be my career someday and this fact is very much a part of this entry.

I think I'm in love with my best friend.  She and another of my friends have been dating for 6 years and recently broke up.  I've always viewed, let's call her Julie for the sake of her identity, as a sister because she was dating my best friend, let's call him Jack.  They recently broke up and all of sudden I started having these feelings about Julie that I didn't really understand.  It's this rush of butterflies I haven't felt since I was abusing vyvanse, but it was occurring naturally.  I didn't know what I was feeling, but I couldn't get Julie out of my head.  I still can't.  I didn't want to pursue anything because she and Jack had just broken up.

The night before the time of this writing, she invited me and a couple other friends to go hang out at her house.  I, as an aspiring YouTuber, was running out of videos to edit and post and needed to record.  I told her that it would depend on what I get done and then I'd let her know.  I get some recording done and she texts me asking what the plans were looking like...

NOTE: Now, at this point, I decided that I was going to be there for her and let whatever happens happen and deal with the consequences then.  I decided I wanted to slowly win her over and see where it could lead.  I feel like I'm betraying Jack by doing that, but I feel like it's healthier for my own sake to do what my heart felt like it needed.  I want to be with Julie.

...Last night, I made the decision to continue recording and hang out with Julie today.  I got a good 6 hours worth of footage recorded which I'm proud of doing...but it came with a cost greater than I could've imagined.  Last night, she went to meet up with another friend and her group.  That's where Julie met Todd (again, a fake name in this case for the person's identity).  She is head over heels for this guy.  And he's a good guy it seems but he's not...me.  I want her to be happy which is why it hurts so much.  Not only is Todd a seemingly good guy, but she met him last night.  Why?  Because I chose to record instead of hang out with her.  She never would've met Todd if I halted recording and put videos up a day late...she wouldn't have slipped completely through my fingers...and it hurts.

I'm asking for advice.  How should I deal with this?  I told Julie after she and Jack broke up that I'd always be just a text or a phone call away.  Should I just continue hiding in the friendzone and hope (selfishly) that she and Todd don't end up together?  I don't know how to deal with this situation.  Anyone who has been through something like this, please help.  It's killing me.
Hi everyone, this the first time I've ever written anything from the heart.  Constructive feed back is appreciated!

We've been friends for as long a I can remember.  I mean, we've been friends for about 6 years or so at the time of this writing, yet it feels like a lifetime.  I know I'm not the only one that feels this way about someone they view as their best friend.  Someone they audibly call their sister, even though their true feelings conflict that title.  You want Her to be safe; you want what's best for Her; you want Her to be happy, no matter what that may mean for you.  Even if it meant sacrificing your friendship altogether.  "Why, then, does it feel like the darkest parts of hell are churning about in the pit of my stomach whenever I think about her with someone else?  Why does it feel like someone punched me in the gut, groin, and throat all at once whenever the thought of someone else sweeping her off her feet crosses my mind?  Why is that even though she just broke up with a man I call my brother...I'm willing to breaking my one rule: Never date your best friend's ex...not even her.   Why is it that death seems to be the only cure for such a pain?"


You've been friends for 6 years, yet you feel you've known her for a hundred years; you've painted a picture of a life in you head filled with enough memories to paint the Grand Canyon.  You've imagined children with her, grandchildren, family vacations, picnics; you can see the living room doused in heavenly golden light from the shining sun outside, reflecting off of Her blond hair; the kids are playing with their toys and laughing...she is laughing too.  It's the most beautiful sound you've ever heard.  She is laughing with your kids, dancing about the room; the family dog is barking along, his tail wagging so hard it almost takes one of them out; the smell of the room is like fresh spring or fall, almost a mixture of the two; the birds are chirping and the peaceful roar of the lawnmowers cutting the lawns can be heard throughout the neighborhood...everything is bliss.  You hear the baby crying in the other room.  Your love begins to walk toward his room when you stop Her.  "I'll get him," you say.  She gives you the smile you fell in love with and you feel a warmth that cannot be compared to by anything else in this world.  It's a perfect life.

The room darkens; suddenly it's like a horrible storm has brewed outside; the laughter of your children have silenced; the baby's crying echoes into oblivion before audibly disappearing; the dog is no longer in the room; the smile is wiped completely from Her face.  You look around you and realize you're awakening from this Daydream, and reality is sinking in; you're anxiety is taking over.

"She will never love me," you tell yourself.  "If I profess my love to Her, She will reject me.  She will never speak to me again.  The man I call my brother will come to detest me.  The one I love...She will disappear from my life forever, which is far more unbearable than keeping these feelings to myself."

But you don't want that, do you?  You want the Daydream to become a reality.  You want to take Her in your arms.  You want to love her, hold her, protect her, care for her, to father her children... And you want her to be happy above all.  What must you do then?  Let her go?

"No, I couldn't.  I would rather die."

Confess your adoration for her?

"No, I couldn't.  She will reject me and I will never see her again."

Then what shall you do?

"...I don't know..."
Hey guys, I'm just here to vent.  Feel free to comment on this if you would like.

So today, I had my heart broken in a way I haven't felt in a long time.  First off you should know that I'm an aspiring Let's Player on YouTube (Big Slice).  I want that to be my career someday and this fact is very much a part of this entry.

I think I'm in love with my best friend.  She and another of my friends have been dating for 6 years and recently broke up.  I've always viewed, let's call her Julie for the sake of her identity, as a sister because she was dating my best friend, let's call him Jack.  They recently broke up and all of sudden I started having these feelings about Julie that I didn't really understand.  It's this rush of butterflies I haven't felt since I was abusing vyvanse, but it was occurring naturally.  I didn't know what I was feeling, but I couldn't get Julie out of my head.  I still can't.  I didn't want to pursue anything because she and Jack had just broken up.

The night before the time of this writing, she invited me and a couple other friends to go hang out at her house.  I, as an aspiring YouTuber, was running out of videos to edit and post and needed to record.  I told her that it would depend on what I get done and then I'd let her know.  I get some recording done and she texts me asking what the plans were looking like...

NOTE: Now, at this point, I decided that I was going to be there for her and let whatever happens happen and deal with the consequences then.  I decided I wanted to slowly win her over and see where it could lead.  I feel like I'm betraying Jack by doing that, but I feel like it's healthier for my own sake to do what my heart felt like it needed.  I want to be with Julie.

...Last night, I made the decision to continue recording and hang out with Julie today.  I got a good 6 hours worth of footage recorded which I'm proud of doing...but it came with a cost greater than I could've imagined.  Last night, she went to meet up with another friend and her group.  That's where Julie met Todd (again, a fake name in this case for the person's identity).  She is head over heels for this guy.  And he's a good guy it seems but he's not...me.  I want her to be happy which is why it hurts so much.  Not only is Todd a seemingly good guy, but she met him last night.  Why?  Because I chose to record instead of hang out with her.  She never would've met Todd if I halted recording and put videos up a day late...she wouldn't have slipped completely through my fingers...and it hurts.

I'm asking for advice.  How should I deal with this?  I told Julie after she and Jack broke up that I'd always be just a text or a phone call away.  Should I just continue hiding in the friendzone and hope (selfishly) that she and Todd don't end up together?  I don't know how to deal with this situation.  Anyone who has been through something like this, please help.  It's killing me.

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chaoticdrummer38
United States

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bruzzo Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch!
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chaoticdrummer38 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2016
You're welcome!  I love your work!
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Tiny-Mk Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+devwatch:
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